Banta: My 9 year old son told me a girl was yelling at him and he just sat there wondering what he did wrong. Santa: I think he's ready for marriage!
Santa: A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. Banta: So sad. Which part did he get? Santa: He got the outside!
Santa: My in-laws gifted me a car on my 10th wedding anniversary. Banta: What model is the car? Santa: It's not a model; it's a horrible example!
Santa: O!!! So you want to become a farmer? You'll need sheep, chickens... herd of cows? Banta: Of course, I've heard of cows!
Santa went to his lawyer after beating his wife. Lawyer: You'll be charged for cruelty? Santa: All right... but how much will they charge me?